Thursday, October 30, 2008

Police chase

A redhead, a blond, and a brunette are being chased through a farm by a policeman. They happen into a barn and see three sacks, so they form a plan in that they will each hide in a sack.

They have just barely covered up when the policeman enters. He sees the sacks and starts to pick up the one that contains the redhead. Thinking fast, the redhead barks and growls, "Woof woof!" The policeman, believing that the sack contains a dog (after all, it is a farm), drops it and moves onto the one containing the brunette. She thinks fast, and starts yowling and hissing and saying "Meow meow" in the manner of a cat. Again, the policeman, thinking the sack contains a cat, drops it and moves onto the next one.

As he starts to pick up the last sack containing the blond, he hears a voice coming from it, yelling, "Potato!! Potato!!!"

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

New Computer Chips

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can be implanted and play music inside women's breasts. The music is in stereo, of course.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts, and not listening to them.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Reminds me of a painful looking story...

And whilst we're on the subject, here's my $0.02. I once trod in some proper mustard dogshit on the way to meet a girlfriend. She just had to invite me in to meet her parents, didn't she?
Option 1 - make excuses to remain outside.
Option 2 - take shoes off and leave them outside, and risk having perceived mental age of five.
Option 3 - come in, and hope for the best. I chose 3.

Another story, when I were a sixth form student I made some extra £££ cleaning at Sun Alliance. It's a massive company with a massive office, and several different toilets. The cleaners often recounted the legend of the Phantom Shitter, a mystery character, presumably a pissed-off office worker, who would shit in bizarre places such as plant pots and behind curtains. The phenomenon stopped one day as suddenly as it started.